If you look around your life at exactly what you have, your marriage, your kids, your house... your business, your job ... it's all from your thoughts. You can change your results by changing your thinking. —Laura Swartzbaugh
In this episode of the Plan Simple Meals Podcast, I’m really excited to talk with Laura Swartzbaugh, who is a life coach for coaches about the power of our thoughts and feelings.
Our brains are wired to skew negative. Say for example you’ve talked to a potential client, and then they ghost you. Your brain is likely to tell you that the person doesn’t believe in your business or that you aren’t that good. But really there are a lot of other more likely scenarios.
We talk about how we move from a circumstance to thought to a feeling to action to a result. How changing your thinking can change your results. It starts with taking responsibility (and credit) for everything in your life.
We talk about:
- How we react when we take action that is not aligned with a plan or vision or dream—and what to do instead
- Getting to really clear on the emotion behind the action (name it, tame it)
- How self-judgment derails us, and how compassion is what we need
- The problem of avoidance of emotion and how we need to feel the “negative” emotions
- Growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset
- How the ability to change our thoughts and actions relates to anti-racism work
Five years ago, you would have found Laura on her couch holding a big glass of wine and searching for her future husband on “Human Ebay” (what she calls Match.com). She was burned out by teaching. She was lonely and bored and ate to entertain herself. She was sure that happiness wasn’t available to her. On the outside, it looked like she loved her job, was crushing it as a single mom and loved life. But on the inside, she was constantly judging herself for nearly every choice she made.
Today, Laura is happily remarried and works full time coaching life coaches.
She feels confident about her decisions -- from relationships and career to food and alcohol. She made all of this happen through life coaching.
She spends all day helping other life coaches create this level of certainty, confidence, and trust in their own lives. She believes coaching is the secret sauce to living a more meaningful and joyous life.
She is a certified Life Coach through The Life Coach School. Prior to becoming a coach she was an educator for 27 years. She attended Carleton College, has a Ph.D. from the University of Minnesota, and a master's in Educational Leadership. (She was sure more education would help her feel worthy). Before retiring from teaching, she taught at a number of universities including the University of Michigan and the University of Minnesota as well as teaching high school history and English for a decade in the Chicago area.
- How To Take Action: What Every Coach Needs To Know (https://tinyurl.com/ybyrmpjn)
Doable Changes from this episode:
- TRY COMPASSION. Next time you do something that doesn’t support your vision or plan, first simply notice how you feel. Then instead of beating yourself up, acknowledge that you made a mistake. Be compassionate with yourself.
- FEEL THE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. We want to feel joy and excitement and fun, but what about disappointment or sadness or rage? Often we criticize ourselves for the feeling or for the situation that led to the feeling, or we try to numb ourselves from the feeling (eating, drinking, binge watching, scrolling …). Let yourself feel the emotion. Name it. Know it will go away, but that avoiding it does not help.
- REVISIT. We used the analogy of the spiral staircase or “not my first rodeo” to talk about the idea that just because we face something doesn’t mean we are done. Whether it is confidence or body image or some part of our relationship, we are likely to find something we thought we were “done” with come back. Notice what comes up for you. Notice what you feel. Notice where you are right now. Be compassionate with yourself. Choose an action aligned with your vision.